As Mother’s Day has come and gone, I thought I’d share some thoughts and goals that I have on being a mother- and a mother of two.  Last Mother’s Day, I was a mother of two, except that Micah was stilling living in me.  Now, with an active 2 year old (26 month old) and an almost 6 monther, my perspective on parenting has changed a great deal. 

Easier Second Time Around
First of all, Micah is a piece of cake (- and I wasn’t making a fat joke).   From his birth, until now, he has been 500% easier to take care of than Imanuel was.  I’m not sure if it’s because of his chill peresonality (bc I recall Imanuel being a pretty laid-back baby as well), or if it’s because of having the experience of going through it once before.  I’m definitely less paranoid about certain things (-sleep/eat/wake scheduling, SIDS, suffocation, etc.) however, it seems that the results are the same.  Micah is developing well, he sleeps well through the night (-now from 8pm- 8am), he eats well…it just seems so much easier!  I think to myself often, that if I only had Micah to take care of, life would be a breeze.  I would have never said that when I had to take care of Imanuel by myself when he was my only baby!   (This was a note of encouragement for those of you who are considering/expecting round 2.)

Time for Both
Anyhow, my focus is very much on Imanuel’s character building.  He loves to talk and is experimenting quite a bit with using language as a tool…sometimes to manipulate, unfortunately.  So, I try to make it a point to give him the attention and love that he needs to develop in the different facets of his young life.  With this said, I had an “aha” moment the other day when I realized how the 2nd child tends to be the “forgotten child”, the “odd ball” out of the family, the one that never got any attention.  I shamefully say that during the course of the day, after Micah gets his feeding and changing, he spends lots of time just sitting in his exer-saucer until it’s time for his nap.  He sits there, very content (-I might add), just playing with the different toys that are attached to it, while I play or deal with Imanuel, take care of chores, do GYC work, etc.

So, with that said, my first goal as a mother is that I want to give both of my kids the attention that the rightly deserve.  I realize that in order to do this, I need to give Micah the attention that he needs, even though he doesn’t ask for it/nor “need” it.  God has time for each one of His children, no matter where we are on the spiritual growth chart.  We all need His attention and we ought to give our kids the same.

Going Potty
We’re trying to potty-train Imanuel right now.  I think this heightens the amount of attention that Imanuel needs because I need to watch him like a hawk to see if he needs to go to the bathroom.  He’s gone #2 in his potty every day except for one in the past 5 days, but he’s only gone #1 once.  Which means, I’ve been having to wash many pajama pants recently.  It takes a lot of time and attention (and patience).  I think it’s a bitter-sweet experience for him right now.  It is a very challenging ordeal – this potty training business, however, he tries hard to please me and to get his reward (-a sticker on his going potty chart and a potty party where he gets to eat some yummy snacks).  This struggle has also surfaced some character struggles in him.  He is often tempted to lie when I ask him if he needs to go potty, or if he has already gone.  So, balancing the love and encouragement with accountability and discipline gets tricky. 

The other day, when Imanuel had gone #2 in the potty for the first time since phase 2 of potty training, (- phase 1 started when he was 18 months, but was never concluded because I was getting very pregnant), I was very discouraged.  I had decided to take his diaper off and I told him that because he was big boy, he needed to start going on the potty.  Well, he ended up going pee in his pants 3 times before he actually went poo in the potty.  So, you can imagine the excitement (after the 3 great disappointments) when he went.  I was so happy and I hugged him and told him that I was so proud of him.  I was very excited.  Then Imanuel in the excitement exclaimed, “Mama, you love Manu?!”  Translated, “Now that I have gone poo-poo in the toilet, you love me?!”   I knew that’s what he had meant.  It actually broke my heart when he said that.  

Loving Always
That’s when I sat him down and tried to explain that I ALWAYS love him, no matter if he goes in the potty or not.  It was then that I realized the solemn responsibility that we as parents have to learn how to show love to our children all the time.   Not only when we are in a good mood, or if things are going well, or if our children are behaving well.  God wants us to know that that’s how He feels about us, and He gives us the duty to teach that to our children.  Since potty-training has started, I see how just one disappointing look sinks deep into a child’s heart, how the frustration in your voice leaves a child confused and guilt-stricken (even though it may not have been their fault).  Children are so sensitive!  I have the responsibility to maintain a Christ-like attitude no matter what.  I have no excuse to lose my temper or show frustration with their short-comings.  My other goal is that I want to make sure my children are confident that I love them at ALL times.

Doing the Impossible
How can I be the parent that God calls me to be?  The calling seems too high.   It goes beyond living like a Christian all the time.  It is giving the first and most impacting introduction of who God is to someone who belongs to Him.  I don’t want to mess that up!  I need Jesus moment by moment.  I know that the first 3 years of a child’s life are the most influential in determining what kind of character they will possess.  That time is quickly passing for my kids and so I realize that now is the time to give my best.
 

Auntie Alanna & Micah (They just looked so different I had to take a picture.)

Manu’s potty seat

Me and my Manu

Micah & Manu on Mother’s Day 2008