Today marks the 31st day since I was in labor all night, went into major surgery the next morning, and since I’ve had a stretch of more than 3-4 hours of sleep at one time.  If my mother were not here, I would have surely lost it.  But even though my mother has been here to help, it has been perhaps the most difficult weeks of my life.  And yet, God saw it fit to teach me one crucial lesson.  I have no excuse.

After watching the messages at GYC via live streaming on our website, I had made several commitments.  I was particularly impacted by one message by Sebastien titled, “But Now”.  There were so many times that I made commitments to the Lord concerning myself, my husband, and my children.  Yet, often times my promises were like ropes of sand.  After so many times, it is easy to become afraid to commit again.  But I praise God for Sebastien’s message that challenged me to make commitments even though in the past, I’ve failed.  But Now.

One of the personal commitments that I made was to spend more time alone with the Lord.  I also committed to reading through the Bible cover to cover – something, I sadly admit, I’ve never done before.  Before it seemed I could never find the time.  I had so many excuses and there were also many people who assured me that I was justified.  I mean, my life was consumed by raising 2 young boys, being a pastor’s wife, GYC work, taking care of our home, cooking, cleaning and the list could go on.  Then, add to the list how my life has been these past 31 days…

But God is so patient with us.  And He is so desperately waiting for opportunities to reveal Himself to us. 

One night as I was up in the middle of the night feeding Ty, the Lord impressed something upon my heart.  Look at my life!  I’m so worn out by the end of the day and yet I still willingly wake up every few hours to feed Ty.  And I don’t even complain about it.  How could I have ever used the excuse that I was too exhausted to wake up a little earlier or stay up a little later to spend time with Jesus?  to study His Word?  Very few people could possibly be more worn out than me!  It struck me: 

Mothers have no excuse! 

If we are willing to wake up every 3 hours throughout the night to spend an hour feeding/burping/changing our babies, what is one hour every morning and evening to spend with our Savior and the Giver of our children?

If we are willing to cut out foods, no questions asked, for our nursing babies because we suspect it may be giving them gas, what is modifying our diets for the temple of the Holy Spirit?

If we are willing to defend and protect our children at all cost, what is being unashamed for the One who gave up Heaven for us?

I believe God, in His mercy, has paid special attention to us women, and particularly mothers.  He has shown us our capability to deeply love others – particularly our husbands and children.  And yet, often times we end it there.  But that just means we can love Jesus so much more.  Enoch’s experience should truly be ours! 

So, despite my failures in the past, I am determined to love Jesus more.  By His grace, I have been able to read and study His Word every day since I made that commitment.  I find time.  It helps that I am awakened every few hours during the quietness of the night to take care of Ty.  In the busiest, most trying time of my life, I have found the most time to spend with Him.  The difference is that I realized, I have no excuse.  The Lord has given me so many people in my life whom I love so very much – the latest being my precious newborn Ty.  But even now, I can love Him more!