Today has been one of those rare days.  I do not want to clean the house anymore.  In fact, I feel almost as though I’m actually avoiding what needs to be done.  At one point, I did feel like cleaning the house, but then I felt like moping around and doing nothing.  I finished up GYC stuff and played outside with Manu while Micah took a nap.  I’ve eaten a couple of instant meals.  But overall, I’ve been lounging around refusing to pick any toys off the ground because there are just too many.  And because I just don’t want to.  There are clean, folded clothes that need to be put away but I don’t feel like it.  I started doing the dishes but ended half-way and I almost dread having to finish them.  I feel like I’m in a sort of rebellion – against being my OCD self.  It may be that I’m just burned out.  It may be that my hormones are out of whack.  The thought actually crossed my mind right now that I’m glad I’m grown up and don’t live in my parents’ house because they would surely would have made me clean by now. 

It would be a wonderful and liberating feeling to be OK with my house being in its current state.  Israel has been trying to “help” me feel this way for a while now.  I think it actually would be very therapeutic for me to not clean and to see that nothing horrible will happen.  The only problem is that on Friday, colporteurs will be coming and staying with us for a week.  So, then that makes me go into a minor state of panick.  The house needs to be clean by Friday.  But I’m not sure what I should do.  I’ve considered asking Israel to clean the whole house, but that just wouldn’t be fair to have him clean while I sit around and peruse through FB.  Should I just suck it up and clean now or wait to see if tomorrow finds me with renewed inspiration to clean?                

Is this how men/husbands feel about helping around the house or doing chores?  Is this how some wives feel about housework?  It really is a horrible feeling…to really not want to do something that you really need to do.  I’m guessing this is probably where discipline and self-motivation comes in.  So, maybe I should just get a cleaning lady?  Yes, it’s that bad…   

PS:  I hope this is no indication of this baby’s attitude towards cleaning…