Judy’s sleeping right now because she’s gotten sick. Thus, I
thought it a good idea to keep you updated on some of the happenings in
the Ramos Household.
We’re (She’s) in need of a good parenting book. Like any good,
experienced parent knows, it is very important for the baby to
sleep! Thus, Israel does anything to ensure that the baby sleeps
at all cost. I put his tummy on my knee and give him a little
(sometimes a lot, pray for me) vibration, put him over my shoulder and
pat him, give a variety of pillows to choose from when he’s crying and
Judy is too sick to feed him and I have to attend to him but he seems
to be grumpy and will not go to sleep as all good babies should in
order to grow up to be big and strong! I do all sorts of
things. The new thing is putting him on his little swing with
some classical music for kids that Auntie Sarah gave him.
And then…
Judy wakes up and hears the music that’s way to loud (according to her)
and sees the swing that is swinging way too high (according to her [and
maybe one or two other people…at most!]) and MOVES the baby (WAKES HIM
UP) and puts him on the bed EVEN IF he starts crying again! So
I’m like, what’s going on? What are you doing!?
Her answer?
HE MIGHT BECOME DEPENDENT!
It’s like, “we’re” afraid to do anything because “the baby might become
dependent.” So if you see us on the news and hear that this crazy
family in Michigan is in jail for making their 8-week-old baby sleep
outside, don’t worry. We just didn’t want him to become dependent
to a warm home, a bed, a dry place to sleep, etc.
Anyhow, I should probably get going and move the baby from the swing to
the bed before Judy wakes up and I get fired from fatherhood. The
last thing we want is a substitute father because Judy is sick and
Israel is making the baby dependent on things.
And by the way, if she posts something about me making up songs, etc.,
don’t listen to her…she’s just kidding. Everybody that knows me
KNOWS that I would never do something like that.
P.S. the baby’s on the swing right now. He’s been sleeping
forever! Guys, if you need some professional help on putting
babies to sleep, I’ll hook you up with a discount. Here’s the
coupon number: #454D8945PGS