This entry is dedicated to Stephanie Quick.  🙂

So, my pregnancy is at that stage where it’s getting old.  Israel was telling me this morning as he dropped me off at school that he thinks the baby is never going to come out.  I’m more thinking that if the baby doesn’t come out soon, he’ll just grow and grow until…I don’t know!  I can definitely tell that he’s growing at a more rapid pace now.  I’ve also developed my first battle scars around the lower periphery of my belly.  My skin just couldn’t take it anymore!  The baby likes to play this game where he tries to see if he can cram himself on one side of my uterus…either the right side or the left.  My tummy often looks lopsided.  He doesn’t really kick as much since he’s running out of room in there.  It’s more like he slowly turns into different positions to find one that’s the most comfortable, not thinking of his mother whose skin ends up being stretched like a drum.  It’s not really all that bad though.  The kicks and movements are not painful at all.  He’s never kicked at or stuck his limbs into my ribs or jabbed at my lungs.  Nothing like that.  I think the worst part is when he’ll move into a certain position and suddenly, I have to pee and unless he repositions I must be on a toilet within 1 minute!  That’s embarrassing AND uncomfortable.  When I lie down and feel my tummy, it’s easier now to get an idea of the different body parts.  I’ve been trying to pay attention when the nurse practitioner feels the baby and tells me how he’s positioned.  I can feel the head pretty well and the back is pretty obvious as well.  That’s been neat. 

I think my biggest struggle has been trying to stay positive and not let my emotions get the best of me.  For those of you who haven’t heard, my grandmother passed away last week and I attended her memorial service and funeral.  It was a very painful time and I have many regrets.  She always wanted me to visit her.  She would always ask my mother how I was doing and why I hadn’t come to visit her yet.  I took her for granted, thinking she would always be there.  So, I put off visiting her.  I would pray for her pretty much every day…but she wanted me to visit her.  I would often think how neat it would be that my child would have a great-grandmother still living.  Unfortunately, that will have to wait until Heaven.  It’s so difficult to grapple with the idea that how I feel and what I’m thinking affects the baby.  It’s forced me to depend on the Lord to help me overcome my weaknesses and to help me in times of temptation…for the baby’s sake.  Everything I do, I want to make sure it’s in the best interest of the baby.  Love is a powerful thing.  By God’s grace, it can bring our carnal natures into submission.  That has been one thing that I’ve experienced as a pregnant Christian.  If I am so willing to change areas of my lifestyle – devotional life, sleep habits, diet, demeanor, attitude, for the well-being of my child whom I don’t know, how much more should we be careful with our thoughts and deeds knowing that the King of the universe desires to dwell within us?  Are our bodies fit to inhabit our Lord?  I often pray for myself, that God will help me to love Him more and treat Him better.  God is so merciful to us.  I’m so grateful that we serve a God who loves us so much and entrusts to us the responsibility of raising His children…because I know that in doing so, He is trying to save us as well.